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read moreMillennials are known for being tech-savvy and used to having services – and people – available to them in a few short clicks. Born between the early 1980s and mid 1990s, this generation grew up during the rise of internet dating and apps.
Connecting with other singles online seems perfectly conventional to younger people. So why is matchmaking becoming increasingly desirable for millennials?
There have been a number of recent examples of how disingenuous dating apps have become that have alarmed even the most tech savvy singles. When Aleksander Zhaden found himself single in 2021, he found that looking for love on Tinder was not as easy as he may have expected. Mentally exhausted by the process, he decided to use his tech knowledge to turn Chat GTP into his own personal dating PA. The program began talking to women for him, resulting in over 5000 connections with women on Tinder.
This case illustrates how artificial intelligence poses a threat to the authenticity of dating apps. Online dating has traditionally posed risks associated with human strangers; now singles cannot be sure that they are even talking to a human being. The industry has not been quick to act, or to lessen users’ fears that they could fall victim to online powered fraud. Even the less tech savvy can now use AI to write personal messages to potential matches. It seems online dating is heading towards disaster.
Millennials may be deeply entrenched in technology, but they are still seeking genuine connections. Like more mature singles, they want and need authenticity and a human touch.
What Are the Key Benefits of Matchmaking for Young Singles?
Unlike dating apps, an experienced matchmaker takes time to get to know each client, becoming familiar with their desires, goals and values. That human touch can feel enticing to a generation suffering from choice-overload. Unlike online dating, a matchmaking agency works with a select group of men and women genuinely looking for love. Most insist on ID checks and face to face interviews; this is not a place for fraudsters.
There are other benefits beyond safety concerns. Matchmaking is a time-efficient choice for busy young professionals. A matchmaker genuinely takes a client’s preferences into account when choosing a match, weeding out incompatible candidates. A professional may also recognise compatible traits between two people that they may not recognise themselves. And for those suffering from dating nerves or past hurt and disappointment, some agencies offer the services of skilled dating and relationship coaches. For the first time, millennials may learn the fundamentals of dating etiquette and the art of making healthy, romantic connections.
It's not that modern matchmaking rejects technology entirely. Many agencies will use tools to assist in the process, for example, online personality tests, however matches will be decided on by an actual human being. Technological efficiency is reassuring to millennials, however knowing they are in the hands of an empathetic professional brings an attractive new dimension to the practice.
Remember that millennials are maturing and experiencing shifts in their priorities. Easy hook-ups and disposable relationships tend to lose their appeal as we get older. Deprived of genuine human connections, many dating app users experience dating fatigue and burn-out. Instead of giving up entirely, they can now turn to personal matchmaking services.
As a dating coach, I find less and less clients have active online dating profiles. Most are battle-weary and desperate for something real. I have yet to hear a single client profess to enjoying online dating. Most have experienced multiple disappointments, often having invested time in a complete time-waster due to loneliness and a fear of never finding love. A key piece of advice I always give is that – as cheesy as it sounds – we must love ourselves and know our own worth before venturing into the dating game. If self-respect isn’t there, our standards will be lower and our potential for being used and/ or abused is much higher.
The Decline of Online Dating: Why Are Users Ditching the Apps?
The truth is, dating apps are becoming less popular with singles of all generations. Many people feel that algorithms work against them, suspecting that ethnicity, disabilities and perceived attractiveness impact their visibility within apps. It’s no surprise that most apps are deleted within the first month of a user signing up. A recent AppsFlyer survey found that 65 percent of dating apps are uninstalled within four weeks, with many users disconnecting after just a week.
There certainly seems to be a sense that dating apps are exhausting and superficial. Most of us know incredible singles who have been online for months and years with no success. Removing oneself from the game and returning to traditional dating, or matchmaking, can feel like a breath of fresh air!
Technology also causes issues for those who have found love. A 2023 survey by One Poll/Forbes found that respondents were more worried about emotional cheating than physical cheating. This includes flirting with another person online and keeping a previous dating profile active. 34% of men believe that liking another person’s photo on social media to be a form of cheating. Having sex with someone outside of the relationship was fourth on the list of concerns couples have about each other. Essentially, technology has caused a sense of unease and distrust in many modern relationships.
A recent article from The Times covers a new report from Ofcom that highlights a huge decrease in the use of dating apps in the UK — including Tinder losing 600,000 users. Mark Sellman discusses how millennials express their dismay with said platforms, including issues such as ghosting and catfishing. Gen Z users are also generally less attached, and beginning to prefer authentic connections over digital ones. As such, many big players like Match Group are looking into other ways to win back engagement. Concomitantly, there has been an increase in interest towards face-to-face services, such as personal matchmaking.
There is also the issue of millennials using dating apps to network. For some, apps are just another version of LinkedIn; dating app ‘networkers’ are looking for useful professional connections – people who can help them make the next step in their careers. This is frustrating for those genuinely looking for love who are left wondering, ‘Was that a date or a business meeting?’.
A Hinge user named Grace Ling confessed to the Wall Street Journal that as a young dater, she only agreed to meet men who worked at the companies she wanted to be hired by. She felt the connections she made helped get her foot through the door at major tech companies!
It is estimated that a quarter of Grindr users see the site as a networking tool. George Arison, the company’s CEO, has admitted to hiring several people he met on the app.
TikTok user, Keara Sullivan, may have been right when she stated “If you met your partner on a dating app two years ago, you caught the last chopper out of Nam. You got the last seat on the last lifeboat to leave the sinking Titanic. The rest of us, the ones who are still single, we are in the trenches. We’re still in the jungle.” This video received 438.9k likes! Keara goes on to state that no-one is having any luck on dating apps any more and that “Something has changed”.
Professional Matchmaking vs. Online Dating: Final Thoughts
Millennials can be said to be the seasoned veterans of online dating. However, many appear ready to move away from superficial dating. Matchmaking appeals to this generation due to its distance from surface-level interactions. Millennials are seeking relationships with an emphasis on real-life compatibility, shared goals, and values. After all, these factors are what solid relationships are built upon! Whilst they are willing to use dating apps, they are keen to move towards in person interactions and romantic dates. Apps are a means to an end that is falling out of favour.
While new apps have appeared over the years - including Bumble (an app supposedly designed to empower women); Raya (for celebrity singles) and The League (for professionals) – it seems millennials are no longer excited by these marketing ploys.
Dating apps are still fighting for credibility. Hinge claims to have only one aim – to get users offline and into relationships. The issue is, dating apps are largely to blame for creating a culture of distrust and disrespect, and Millennials are recognising this.
Can dating apps be entirely to blame for dating fatigue? The answer is no, us humans must also take responsibility. Singles of all ages have become incredibly picky and often lazy when it comes to dating. They have adopted an ‘interview’ style approach to first dates and those who don’t make a mind-blowing first impression are quite simply ghosted. Many people have lost touch with how their actions impact others. A ‘me, me, me’ approach to romantic relationships prevails online.
It's not just Millennials who are waking up to the benefits of matchmaking. Matchmaking agencies are now seeing a broader range of ages than ever before. It may not be long before online dating implodes and for those who don’t want to leave finding love entirely to chance, joining a matchmaking agency is a smart choice.
At Matchmakers, we help single men and women find love with partners they share goals and values with; partners who still give them butterflies as the months turn into years; partners with whom they share a deep bond. Our experienced matchmaking team and dating coaches make this happen with empathy and professionalism. If you are single and genuinely looking for long term happiness and commitment, fill out our contact form, or call us today for more information!
